🔪Children Are Not Weapons – It’s Emotional Child Abuse✋

Hi Everyone!

Welcome back to my blog.

Today, I want to discuss something deeply personal and important: the issue of children being prevented from seeing one of their parents after a breakup or divorce.

If you’ve read my previous blog about my own life, you know that I’ve experienced divorce firsthand. At just 10 years old, it had a huge impact on me.

Luckily, neither of my parents ever stopped me or my sisters from seeing each other, but I know this isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s a common situation that should never happen. Divorce is already difficult enough and for a child to be kept away from a parent is emotionally damaging.

My dad was there for me every step of the way, supporting me through all the ups and downs in my life. Despite the neglect and abuse we faced from my mother and her partner, my dad remained civil. I have a tremendous amount of respect for him for that. It must have been incredibly hard, he understood how corrupt the system can be. He knew that if he acted on his emotions, it would hurt his chances of gaining custody of me and my sisters.

My dad always said that when we were older, we’d realize what was really going on, we would be able to make our own decisions about how we felt toward each parent. He was right.

Children don’t understand breakups and divorce. They need both parents to cooperate, no matter the circumstances.

I’ve always been open about my experiences because I know how much it helped me to read about others going through similar struggles. Sometimes, you don’t realize how much of an impact your words can have on someone. Through this blog, I hope to give support to others. Even if it only helps one person, it will be worth it.

When I first started writing, I faced criticism from some people, but that didn’t stop me. I believe that if you’re passionate about something, you should do it! After all, in 200 years, no one will even remember you! I write because I love it. And maybe, just maybe, someone will read my blog and realise they’re not alone—maybe it will even save a life.

I don’t gain anything from my blog except the hope that it might help someone or inspire them to speak up about something they care about. Our life experiences shape us and guide our decisions in the future. One thing I believe is that using children as weapons in divorce should be illegal. Both parents deserve the opportunity to be part of their child’s life during those crucial years and create lasting memories.

Often, the issue comes down to money. Many fathers are denied access to their children and are forced to pay stupid amounts of child support simply because they only get to see their kids for a few days a year. If a parent—whether mother or father—chooses to step out of their child’s life, then yes, they should contribute financially to the child’s well-being.

But the truth is, in many cases, fathers want to be involved and are prevented from doing so. This is wrong, it needs to stop. The family court system is deeply flawed and corrupt. Investigations should be done into both parents’ situations before deciding custody. The decision of who gets to be with the child should never be based on one-sided assumptions. There are a lot of deadbeat fathers (and mothers) out there and they seem to treat everyone like that, it isn't always the case!

It’s been about ten years since I first met Ian at the boxing club. He has 3 children. Chloe, Tom and Oscar. It was lovely to see Ian and Tom working out together, taking a break from the challenges of life. At the time, I was just starting my boxing journey - maybe a year into training. Chloe is now 23, Tom is 20 and Oscar is 10! Oscar was in a car seat when Ian used to come to the boxing club to train, how time flies!

Like most of us, no one knew the struggles happening outside of the gym. I think we often use distractions to escape our troubles. Boxing has been my distraction over the years. It’s helped me stay focused on my goals and keep my mind clear. My mindset has always been strong; I don’t believe in failure. You only fail when you stop trying, I’m determined to always keep going.

As time passed, I moved to a different boxing club and lost touch with Ian, though we stayed friends on Facebook. Recently, I’ve learned about the incredibly tough fight Ian and his partner, Claire, have been facing. I believe Ian met Claire around the same time he started coming to the boxing club. Their story is one of strength, love, and determination. It’s not my place to share the details of their journey, but it has really inspired me to write about it here for the first time.

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s that having a loving partner by your side can help you overcome incredible obstacles. Ian found Claire, and together, they have fought fiercely to be a family. Claire has been by Ian’s side every step of the way, supporting him in his relentless fight to stay in contact with his children. Ian is an amazing example of what it means to be a dedicated, loving father, and I have no doubt that he will never stop fighting for the right to spend time with his children.

Anyone who knows Ian will agree, he is a kind and caring person not just as a father, but as a human being. It’s heartbreaking to see the hardship he’s facing right now, I know he loves his children more than anything and he will continue to fight for them - That’s what good fathers (and mothers) do.

The most important thing in life is to never give up. Never stop fighting for the ones you love, even when the system is stacked against you. It might not always be easy, but remember this: if things aren’t working out right now, it simply means the story isn’t over yet.

For any parent fighting to be in their child’s life, the key is persistence. Show your children your strength and resilience. Prove to the world (and to any toxic parent standing in your way) that you will never back down. No one can defeat you if you refuse to quit.

I hope that everyone battling through this kind of struggle has the support they need. We are all stronger when we stand together.

Ian has created a Facebook page to share his journey and offer support to others facing similar challenges. Please take a moment to check it out and share it. The page is called “EVERY CHILD MATTERS”—a name that says it all. Every child deserves to have their voice heard and Ian is fighting to ensure that happens for his own children and for all others in similar situations.

Thank you for reading this post. Please consider showing your support for Ian and all parents who are fighting this difficult battle.

Together, we are stronger. Together, we can make our voices heard.

Chloe x